Think Like a Spy: Human Behaviour, Connection and Influence

I sit down with British intelligence specialist and practitioner Julian Fisher to discuss his new book “Think Like a Spy”

👋🏼 Hey, I’m Joanna! I’m a communications consultant sharing insights and ideas relating to democracy, wellbeing, AI, culture, spiritualism and the human condition…read on if this has piqued your interest.

One of the most mysterious, mind-boggling and oldest professions in the world – spying – is often portrayed through the lens of James Bond, slick suits and animated car chases. Few details are revealed, and rarely do we think about spying in a nuanced way which explores it from a deeply human perspective. Yet the reality of being a spy is far more subtle, thoughtful and sensitive to picking up and tuning into small and seemingly insignificant details that are dropped into conversation. Why don’t we see and hear more about this side to spying? What are the human traits guiding the process of spying, who makes a good spy and why?

Julian Fisher’s new book, Think Like a Spy, is the story behind spying which we rarely hear about but greatly need, combining personal antidotes with professional guidance. At a time when we are questioning human connection, what it means and how to improve it as people feel increasingly isolated and lonely, Julian’s book reveals that the most mysterious of professions is also one of the most human at its very core and essence.

As someone very intrigued by the art of persuasion and influence (Aristotle’s Rhetoric is one of my favourite reads), I was especially eager to explore it through the lens of spying and how the skills of spies can apply to anyone seeking to enhance their personal and professional lives for their own benefit as well as others.

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Joanna: Hi Julian! For my readers who are unfamiliar with the world of espionage, what inspired you to write this book through a self-help lens?

Julian: I realised some time ago that spies achieve extraordinary outcomes in the interpersonal sphere by using skills that are, in fact, quite ordinary. This is contrary to what many people assume. There is a tendency to believe that intelligence officers (the people I mean when I talk about ‘spies’) are somehow different to the rest of us or have access to a different set of skills.  But they aren’t and they don’t. They are ordinary people who use a suite of interpersonal skills that can be learned, practised and perfected by anyone. The difference is that they use them in a structured manner, with clear intent.

I want to democratise this mindset because I am passionate about social mobility. Many young people find it difficult to get on in life because they don’t have access to social capital: the interpersonal networks that enable them to navigate elite personal, educational, professional and political worlds. There is a great deal of truth in the old saying that ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’.  Education will get you only so far. At some point, a young person will have to find and nurture allies to help them achieve their goals.  And that is where thinking like a spy comes in. Because, at its heart, the job of a spy is to build alliances.

I know thinking like a spy works because I did it myself, without even realising it.  I was inspired to do so by the words of a young Iranian refugee, who nursed me after I deliberately walked out in front of a moving car, trying to escape the grief that engulfed me after my sister took her own life. Mehr told me that ‘allies are the most important thing in life. Never forget that’. I never did, and her words helped me to move on from grief and from an upbringing in what was then the poorest postcode in the UK. 

I feel in in a visceral way that I owe my life to that brave young woman. And Think Like a Spy is one way in which I seek to repay the debt. I will be thrilled if I, in my turn, am able to inspire even one struggling young person.

Joanna: You talk about your journey as a schoolboy, going to Oxford, working as a stockbroker then to working as spy, creating your own intelligence company to then working in TV.

You say that a good spy is a people person. But how does this apply in the digital age where more connections are initiated online in comparison to in person? What advice would you specifically give to people when it comes to making these work transitions in the digital age where most jobs and opportunities can only be accessed online or via a remote HR specialist?

Julian: I don’t see it as an ‘either-or’ situation. Of course, technology has changed the way in which we do things in the workplace, including how we find employment in the first place. But I believe it is important to recognise that many technologies are, primarily, just efficient means of remote communication. They intermediate. Sure, they do so in a way that speeds up communication and adds a sense of pressure that maybe wasn’t so obvious in my younger years. But intermediation is still – ultimately – between living, breathing people.

In my final year at university, I visited the careers centre, which published – in physical newsletter form – listings of graduate vacancies. If one caught my eye, I would sit down alone and write a tailored CV and covering letter, which I would then drop into a mailbox, without having any face time with the people looking to fill the vacancy. If you think about it, that is not so very different from finding a vacancy listed online and submitting a CV and covering letter online. The latter is just a faster way of achieving the same end. In the majority of cases, it is another person who will review an application and another person – or people – who will interview you. At that point, it is important to bring to bear a set of interpersonal and communication skills that oil the gears of any social interaction.

Now, let’s think about the point when someone has landed a new job. Yes, there has been a growth in remote working and, even in an office, we work in a more atomised way than our parents and grandparents did. But most employers continue to prize teamwork, nonetheless, and they look for people who will come across well to clients. Of course, there are some roles that can be fulfilled in splendid isolation, but they are not many, if an employers’ collective vision is to be realised. One way or another, most workplaces require most employees to work effectively and harmoniously with other people, not all of whom are likeable. 

Given this, in an age when we far too often have screens as barriers between ourselves, it is the people with developed interpersonal skills who are most prized by some employers. So, I say, lean into technology when it helps.  But try to avoid thinking of technological know-how as the end in itself. Lives are happier and healthier when we interact with others, with a developed sense of shared humanity.

Joanna: What is the most effective way to build alliances and connections in a post COVID world where IRL (“In Real Life”) serendipitous moments are less common because more people work remotely?

Julian: Just get out there!  I worried during the lockdowns that we would lose the social knack.  In my more negative moments, I foresaw a deserted London, airlines going bust and a dismal future dominated by TV streaming services, food-delivery apps and online conferencing facilities. I can’t tell you how happy I was to be proven wrong: to watch restaurants and bars come back to life; wave friends goodbye on international travel; watch businesspeople snap their laptops shut and seek out face-to- face meetings once again. I recently read a book called The Future is Analog: How to Create a More Human World.  In it, David Sax talks about how the digital ‘future’ arrived for us all overnight. And we hated it. Couldn’t wait to get back to IRL.

As a newly-published author, I get what remote working is like. Writing is a solitary activity, for the most part. But I still had many in-person meetings along the way. With my editor, publicist, agent, journalists and others. Just last week, I was at a small drinks-gathering organised by a fellow-writer with the aim of creating a mutual support network for us loners. My schedule for the coming months includes in-person reunions organised by two of my previous employers and my old college, as well as networking events organised by the Society of Authors and a group of European business intelligence practitioners. Not to mention book festivals and the occasional book-signing. 

My plea to everyone is not to be fooled by what happened and not to be defeated by it. The human spirit is indomitable and we will always seek out interaction with others. There is plenty going on in real life.  Join some clubs, some societies, some networking groups and get out there.  You never know, you might even enjoy it.

Joanna: Your book has a strong human-first and human behaviour element which I found really refreshing, especially when it comes to developing relationships in-person. How do you foresee the lessons and learnings as outlined in your book applying in the years ahead as AI and technology advances?

Julian: I firmly believe that they will be more important than ever.

Look, machine-learning and artificial intelligence (whatever we mean by that) present threats and opportunities, like all other advances. Sure, if I was a composer of incidental music for movies, I’d be nervous right now. Likewise, if I was graphic designer, I’d be thinking about re-skilling myself. What I’m saying is that there will be casualties from the machine-learning revolution. Writers may be included: I’m not complacent. But, as the wave of beige advances, I think many people will come to dislike music, design and writing that is auto-generated, bereft of humanity. 

Let’s think about writing, as that is the area I am most familiar with. I don’t read for the words themselves, although I derive much pleasure from a well-constructed sentence. More importantly, I read for a sense of the person behind the words. Writing is a form of magic, in that it can transplant what it is in my head, my imagination, into your head and your imagination. Take one person out of that exchange and it suddenly becomes meaningless, soulless.

I am not religious but I do think the word ‘soul’ is important here. We, as humans, yearn for connection with other humans. That space between our physical beings in which we can connect, even in the absence of physical connection, is what I understand by ‘soul’. No amount of lightning-speed computation, no clever logic-gate sequences and algorithms, will ever be able to replace that. Indeed, as the world fills with clever-sounding but ultimately soulless auto-generated output, I believe humans will become ever-more hungry for meaningful interpersonal connections.

Joanna: One of the aspects of your book that I embraced, and which you highlighted from your own experience, is your willingness to step outside your comfort zone to develop new connections.  

What is your advice to the introverts out there? How can we reframe fear of the unknown as something that helps and enhances our wellbeing within ourselves and with others?

Julian: I can talk about this with some confidence, as I am an introvert myself. So, please let me make a few observations about the nature of introversion. 

First, I implore people not think of it as somehow a ‘bad thing’. For some reason, western societies seem to prize extroversion above introversion. I can’t for the life of me think why, given the amount of damage extroverted politicians and businesspeople do. Introversion is a hidden superpower, that enables its possessor to stand back and take stock when others are rushing around and making foolhardy decisions.  It also gives the would-be interlocutor a huge social advantage: focus. Ever notice that person at the party who is able to forge a meaningful connection with one other person, rather than trying to impress everybody with her larger-than-life personality? That’s the introvert at work and you can bet she will have a more powerful overall impact that evening than her extrovert brother.

Second, please don’t confuse introversion with shyness, another trait that gets an unfairly bad rap. Introversion means, not that you are necessarily socially awkward, but that you restore your energy through time alone, whereas an extrovert needs others around them to restore their energy. Recognise if you are the former type and spend the time alone that you need, recuperating. That’s alright.  More than alright, in fact.  It’s a downright necessity. If you do that, you will have the strength to engage socially when you need to.

Third, don’t – whatever you do – try to be something you are not. If you are an introvert, go with it, embrace it, tell others about it, and do what you need to do to get by. In a social setting, find one person who gets you, and get to know them properly. Never be the person looking over someone’s shoulder to spot someone ‘more interesting’.

An extrovert trainer of mine once told me that it was important to ‘work the room’ at a party.  I think that’s nonsense.  We all know the person who is ‘working the room’ and many of us recoil from them.  I come back to my central theme: meaningful connection. That is only possible with one – maybe two – people in one evening.

Joanna: You speak about allies being the most important thing in life. Digital places and spaces are great initiators of connection, but it’s often challenging to maintain connection – it can often feel fleeting and forgettable.

In your view, what is the most effective way to nurture and maintain relationships, especially from afar?

Julian: There are two problems with social media networking, in my view.  The first is a tendency to confuse the medium with the relationship. The second is volume: the sheer number of connections. Both problems are resolved in the same way: take it offline. 

Let me unpack that a bit.

We all know that adrenaline hit from an accepted connection request or a ‘like’ on social media.  And I am sure that most of us have, at one time or another, hoarded them. But we also recognise, deep down, that a thousand ‘friends’ online does not equate to a single friend in the real world. Of course, for some people such as influencers, connections represent commercial value. But there is only room for so many of those. The percentage of users on Instagram who count as ‘macro-influencers’ is less than 1%, for example.  For the remaining 99%, bulk-contacts have little value in themselves. But we continue to kid ourselves that the connections, likes and re-postings are inherently meaningful, when they so often are not.

The related problem is the volume itself. It is impossible to manage more than a handful of human relationships in a meaningful way. The anthropologist Robin Dunbar suggested that we can deal with only around 150 acquaintances at a time. Within that, the number of loved ones is in single figures and the number of close friends in low double-digits. The lesson from this?  Stop obsessing over the number of people you are connected to online and concentrate on those with whom a proper connection is possible and potentially beneficial – to your mental health, to your professional life, or whatever.

Then, if at all possible, migrate that relationship to the real world, cultivate it and enjoy watching it flourish. If there is a considerable distance between you and the relationship is sufficiently important? Get on a bus, a train or a plane. I’ve known people who’ve ended up happily married after taking that step. And many others who have landed themselves a crucial client or a new job.

Joanna: Finally, as a key take away, what is the most important lesson that you seek to emphasise in your book?

Julian: Awareness is everything. It starts with self-awareness (think about what I said concerning introversion, for instance).  Then comes others-awareness (respond to other people and their needs, rather than focusing only on what you want out of a relationship). And it ends with situational awareness. Our environment shapes our relationships, so there is no harm in seeking to shape our environment.

Most important of all?  Be yourself.  Nobody else has the privilege of being you. Why would you throw that uniqueness away?

Thank you for reading!

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